Dealing with Expectations when Choosing A Couple

by | Apr 17, 2013 | surrogacy

Surrogate mothers in California are given the opportunity through an official agency to choose the couple for whom they will be providing their unique service. On many occasions, information about two or three couples will be provided to the surrogate mothers. California agencies may approach the issue differently, however generally the mother does have an opportunity to choose the couple for whom they will be assisting in the creation of a new family.

When considering a couples profile, it is often suggested that those who have applied to be surrogate mothers in California carefully consider several criteria in order to ensure that the couple with whom they are working are the best fit possible. One of the way in which to make sure this is the case is, in the first place, to carefully consider the couples own expectations, as this plays a large role in the process of providing this kind of service.
Expectations of how some of the variables that usually play out during a surrogacy are met can have a significant impact on the success of the surrogate pregnancy, so it is important that the mother’s own expectations match as closely as possible those of the couple with whom she is working.

Some of the variables that are associated with the expectations of a couple seeking a surrogate may have to do with how involved they want to be with the mother. Different people can have a variety of expectations that may be very different from couple to couple. For instance, one couple may want to communicate with the mother every day with an update, while others may prefer doing so once a week. Others may not want to have any contact with the mother once the surrogacy is completed, while others may be open to sending photographs and personal updates on a regular basis. None of these expectations are wrong or inappropriate. It is just important for surrogate mothers to be sure that the expectations of the couple match their own in order to prevent conflict or future disappointment.

It may not always be possible for a mother to find a couple whose expectations match her own. In some cases, it may be necessary for her to adjust her own expectations if they are perhaps unrealistic. The objective, of course, is to help an infertile couple to build a family. Most partnerships between couples and mothers have some ups and downs and are not all wonderful all the time. It’s important not to be discouraged.

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